What is it about the good ol’ days that makes them seem so?

Have you ever looked back, wistfully, at some time period in the past, perhaps longing for simpler times? Sometimes looking back on earlier stages of life, it can seem like life was less complex, easier, less stressful, or more fun. Why do we muse about the “good ol’ days?”

You may already know that our mind has a “negativity bias,” meaning things that are potentially a problem get our attention and often occupy our worries and concerns. We also tend to be aware of where we have a lack of control, which is one of the most stressful experiences. Incidentally, one of the ways meditation practice can be helpful is that we can learn to actually develop equanimity in the face of the unknown.

The reason the “good ol’ days” can seem less stressful, simpler, more manageable, etc. is because we already know how things turned out; We survived and maybe learned something important. In contrast, right now there are a lot of unknowns and our worries about the future may be paramount. We don’t know how things are going to turn out.

I began thinking about this topic this morning while enjoying coffee on the misty greenbelt. This is also the view from my office window. If you look very closely, there’s a Ginko sapling tied to a stake with a beige pice of fabric, directly in front of the large tree. Last summer, during a windstorm, the strap holding the sapling came loose and the it began flailing about in the wind.

My increasing concern for the little tree led me to overcome my inertia and to craft a rather clumsy repair job. This morning, I noticed that these months later that cloth was still attached. It had all worked out for the little Ginko. If I think back on that day, I remember worrying that the tie wouldn’t hold, or that it would damage the tree while it was tosseled by the wind. My flurry of worries and the stress of the experience - for both me and the Gingko - were legit, and yet until this morning, they had largely faded in my memory.

When things get difficult, let’s all try to remember that we truly can’t conceive of how things are going to turn out. And that we have undoubtedly made it through some hard times, big or small. It’s easy to downplay certain events because we may also see them now through the eyes of someone wiser or more mature, with new and different concerns. Perhaps some good also came with those difficult times, maybe we grew or learned something important. Here’s a favorite poem that speaks to this beautifully. I hope you have a good week. I hope to see you back here again soon.

From Lao Tzu

Always we hope someone has the answer,

Some other place will be better,

Some other time, it will out turn out.

This is it.

No one else has the answer,

No other place will be better

It has already turned out.

At the center of your being you have such answers,

You know who you are

And you know what you want.

There is no need to run outside for better seeing.

Nor to peer from a window.

Rather abide at the center of your being

For the more you leave it, the less you learn.